A disclaimer

In this novel, the subject of toilets crops up from time to time, but mostly it’s an academic satire. 

So it's important for me to emphasize that I been privileged to enjoy a somewhat successful career as a research scientist. I have shared many good times - both intellectually and socially - with colleagues (from post-docs to Nobel laureates) who are all special people. I owe much to their invaluable knowledge, guidance, and productive collaborations. This is a cadre that are selflessly dedicated to solving fundamental biological puzzles. Not just out of academic interest. But also,  because they know the knowledge gained can spawn the development of therapies and drugs that improve the quality of life, and even extend it. You should certainly thank scientists for antibiotics and vaccines (here's not looking at you, RFK Jr), as well as semaglutide (a.k.a. Ozempic) and sildenafil (a.k.a. Viagra - each time you are experiencing its merits, you could take a moment to pay silent tribute to the funding of academic research. Or at least say "thankyou", afterwards). 

I also owe a personal debt to a separate group of wonderful scientists: those who were willing to work in my own research laboratory over the years. I regret not being more thankful at the time; they produced almost all of the data that brought me invites to be a platform speaker at a number of conferences. I say ‘almost’, because my staff very patiently assisted me with my own experiments, to improve the chance I might even obtain useful data.

To iterate: society should be proud and grateful for all of the dedication and considerable effort that goes into laboratory research. But, none of that is fodder for a satirical novel. Consequently, I have been obliged to make shit up. An awful lot of it.

Therefore, if you are tempted to think any characters in this novel bear similarities with actual scientists, either living or deceased, you would be dead wrong. Any such resemblance would be entirely a coincidence. 

As for the storyline itself, I have sprinkled it with real-life events. For example, in 2014 there really was a spate of suicides among scientists at Berkeley. Covid was indeed a very real and deadly pandemic. And Trump actually did win the presidential election in 2024.

Those unfortunate circumstances are only referenced in order to provide context and/or a time-stamp. In contrast, all of the actions taken by the characters in this story are entirely the products of my own, bizarre imagination. 

I also affirm that the experiences and opinions of Lydia Goode, the journalist who narrates some of the chapters, are absolutely not my own; she has her own agenda, as you will see.

Of course, by analogy to democracy (an imperfect system of government that just happens to be the best that humanity could come up with), we who have worked within the ‘scientific system’ know that it has its flaws. Nevertheless, I have wildly exaggerated their nature and their exploitation. This is a satire, not a commentary, nor is it meant to be a manifesto. It would be undignified and embarrassing for the current administration and their allies, if they stooped to the level of weaponizing pure fiction, for their misguided crusade to decimate scientific agencies and programs. 

Finally, feel free to contact me if you have any comments (welcome to my writing group!) and/or if you would like to be notified whenever a new chapter is released.

Last update: August 1, 2025